Grief. It’s a Monster.
March 8, 2010 – 10:40 am
It comes in stages.
Totally out of control. Cry, yell, scream, feel the loss, for as long as you need. No one ever has the right to say the words, ‘enough time has gone by.’ There’s never enough time to heal, for a loss like this.
To lose a child, whether you as the parent are 25, 40, 85…making your child a toddler, a teen or an adult… it’s just not meant to come in that order. We should always go first. Not them.
How to keep your faith, through times like this…
How to look at your other children and not feel a drop of resentment, and at the same time, relief!
How to just put one foot in front of the other…day, by day, by day…
I lost twins, while they were still inside of me at 7 months. They hadn’t even entered the world, and I still grieved. People looked at me a year after, like there was something wrong with me, for holding on to that grief.
I will say, I can not imagine the pain of losing a child that you’ve known for years. Someone you’ve nurtured, invented, molded and has become their own person in spite of it all!
People don’t know what to say. Be forgiving of their ignorance, if ever you should find yourself in this horrific situation. Words like, “it was God’s way,” or “it was meant to be,” or “you have your other children,” and on and on…
My advice to you my dear, dear friends, that have just suffered this untimely loss, is to close one ear, and leave the other ear open to God. I don’t know why.
The truth is, when we ask ourselves, “Why would God have done this to us? Taken our child!”
Well… he may understand.
Isn’t it possible, that He may have lost a child too?
Jermaine Sellers? Can’t wait to see what ‘attitudinal things’ come out of his mouth as we move forward. He STILL rolls his eyes, (which is something every mom can NOT become immune to).
